poetry

Love, lies and nonsense

I’ve spent the last 25 years learning and diving deep inside my mind to know who I am. I Know who I am.

But do you know who you are with me?

Is that someone you want to be?

Before anyone steps into “complete honesty” with another person, you have to trust that the person you love and care about is someone you’re willing to change for. If you can’t trust yourself with that evolution, then you’re not ready to share love. If you don’t want to be changed, or your life to be changed, then don’t love another person.

When you leave someone, they begin to distrust who they are and how they are.  It’s a vicious circle of distrust, all started by a moment of honesty and love.

Remember to be brave for the people you love, and yourself.  Most importantly, for yourself.

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poetry

Believe.

“There is no separation
Sea, land, & sky
Connected by spirit

If we walk on a different beach
Or we fall from a different tree
We do it together in spirit”

What can I believe?

“I was raised to believe you’re safe in God’s hands. But I don’t feel safe with myself.”

-M. Fox

life · poetry

Hot tea and sleeping pills

Thinking of you is a poison I drink often.

-Atticus

It’s not always just about you, but about me with you.  There was a natural beauty and progression between the two of us, and I thought our ending would be the same. 

But here I sit thinking of tattooing this quote to my forehead, so I have a constant reminder that I am slowly letting you kill me. 

I am devoured by thoughts of what I could have done differently, said differently, been someone different. 

My dreams… They are easily removed.

I don’t need stories, fables or fairytales. Those live in a place where poison is curable by a lovers kiss.

poetry

Poetry

People are constantly putting words in strategic places in order to call what they write Poetry.  People forget about the love and the hate behind those words. So concerned about where words are placed, and so concerned about something beautiful. 

Who says poetry needs beauty? 

Why put restrictions on what is poetic? 

An expression of self through words, should be what Poetry is. 

Love the written word, and everything will come through it. 

Even if it doesn’t rhyme. 

life · poetry

Sharing

So many times I have heard people say they are scared of being alone.  They hate going out alone, eating alone… Being alone.

Who are you if you can’t be alone with yourself?

I love to be alone.  The quiet discomfort of my own thoughts, and the flexibility of being my own schedule.  Being alone is peaceful.  And most days I love who I am.

Who are you if you can’t be alone?

I have no idea how to share myself with someone else.  The idea of being myself with another person, being that vulnerable, is terrifying.  Intimacy is terrifying, someone will know me almost better then I know myself.  The thought of sharing myself, and another person walking away from that, is destructive.

Who are you if you can’t share?

poetry

Transparent

Having faith in another person, is trusting they are capable of being honest.

Honesty is beautiful and it’s brutal.
The beauty of honesty is love and trust.
The brutality of honesty is know there is pain in order the earn love and trust.

I’m not looking for either of those things.
I don’t believe the majority of people are capable of brutal honesty.
The majority of people are more concerned about being liked…
About being loved.
But not being trusted.

People are always “looking” for love.
But the majority of those people have no idea what love is, or what it means.
They just want it.

People are always more then happy to judge someone who isn’t “looking”.
But the majority of those people who are looking, don’t even know what they’re looking for.
They just have to have it.

You can look for Love,
But that doesn’t mean you’re ready for Love.

I hope you can find Love, not just love.
I hope you can learn the beauty of brutal honesty.
And… I hope you can trust your Love to be honest.

I lack all of those hopes.
I don’t have faith in anyone to tell me when they love me, or when they don’t.
I don’t have faith in anyone to listen to me and disagree.
I don’t have faith in anyone to look at me, and see beyond what I show them.

I wish you the best.