Today has been a challenge.
I have been struggling with situations beyond my control, and trying to accept circumstances for what God has given me. My life feels so out of my control, I have become obsessed with controlling the one thing I can… Food. What I eat and how much of it, once again I have a food diary and a calorie counter on my iPad. And don’t confuse needing to be in control with an eating disorder. I don’t throw up or starve myself, but I monitor everything, and even measure my workouts to my food. It’s obsessive, and it’s so surface.
Today my coworker found out his wife’s cancer is back, and possibly worse then before. They are the same age as I am, mid 30’s. They are beautiful people, inside and out. Every time I’ve been around her she is always smiling, and he is beyond generous and never seems to let anything bring him down. They’ve been battling cancer together, in a partnership, an excellent example of staying together through hardship.
It’s sad something like this has to give me perspective on my own struggles, rather then being grateful for what I am been blessed with. If I can just remember to live with grace and forgiveness, and to aim both at others, as well as myself, life would stay bright. I can not let my circumstances beat me down.
Everyone is fighting a battle, and just because someone can hide their fight behind a smile doesn’t make it any less. In fact, it makes them more.