life

Don’t lose that Shine.

My personal decision to not have children or my lack of immediacy to marry has made me feel even more isolated from people my own age, and people I love and care about.  While in my twenties not wanting children was acceptable and no one was in a rush to get married. However once I hit thirty, and my personal decisions didn’t change, I’m the weirdo.  The more I felt I had to explain myself, I realized I didn’t want to open us to anyone, because everyone what’s to know why.  Why what? Why I don’t want kids?  Why do you want kids?  Why am I not in a rush to get married? Why are you in a rush to get married?  Why… Why… Why????

I don’t date because men can be lying assholes, and I’m tired of trying to figure out when they’re being honest.  I don’t have many friends, because I’m tired of them walking away from a friendship rather then working out issues I don’t even know exist.  My family is my core, because they are the only people who accept me for who I am without making me feel like I don’t belong.  Being around people with their careless questions, and they’re “open minds” are debilitating.  No matter how confident a person is, when the majority of people question the core of who you are, and what you want in your own life, they can wear down your shine.

As I look over the last three years, which happen to all be in my thirties, I become sad for the woman who allowed people to dull her shine.  Just because I am different then a vast majority of females, doesn’t make my shine any less bright then someone else.  So a quick note to everyone who feels like their different, or they don’t belong.  Do the best thing you can ever do for yourself, just shine.

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