My personal decision to not have children or my lack of immediacy to marry has made me feel even more isolated from people my own age, and people I love and care about. While in my twenties not wanting children was acceptable and no one was in a rush to get married. However once I hit thirty, and my personal decisions didn’t change, I’m the weirdo. The more I felt I had to explain myself, I realized I didn’t want to open us to anyone, because everyone what’s to know why. Why what? Why I don’t want kids? Why do you want kids? Why am I not in a rush to get married? Why are you in a rush to get married? Why… Why… Why????
I don’t date because men can be lying assholes, and I’m tired of trying to figure out when they’re being honest. I don’t have many friends, because I’m tired of them walking away from a friendship rather then working out issues I don’t even know exist. My family is my core, because they are the only people who accept me for who I am without making me feel like I don’t belong. Being around people with their careless questions, and they’re “open minds” are debilitating. No matter how confident a person is, when the majority of people question the core of who you are, and what you want in your own life, they can wear down your shine.
As I look over the last three years, which happen to all be in my thirties, I become sad for the woman who allowed people to dull her shine. Just because I am different then a vast majority of females, doesn’t make my shine any less bright then someone else. So a quick note to everyone who feels like their different, or they don’t belong. Do the best thing you can ever do for yourself, just shine.