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Inner strength

I want to be strong again.

I’m not the best person at staying in touch with people, but I try.  While I moved away I would email videos, Skype w/ people, make phone calls during my long drives, I would even send simple text messages.  But since I’ve come home, I’ve had a hard time staying inspired.  In fact… some days I’m pretty sure I’m bordering on depression, even if I refuse to acknowledge it.  And I would hope the friends I have… friends I’ve had for a long time… would take some of the initiative in staying connected.

I’m tired.  I’m stressed out.  I feel constantly ungrateful.  To make matters worse, I just want some of the people I consider important, to consider me just as important.  After awhile, I start to wonder if there is something wrong with me.  People appear to find it so easy to walk away, or forget about me.  It’s a hell of a realization. 

Sometimes I wonder if I even know how to connect with people.  I went from being a leader of young adults and pre-teens, to barely having the confidence to talk to people.  What is the point of connecting with people, when they don’t stay. 

Is it so wrong to want someone to stay?  To be strong while I’m not….

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One thought on “Inner strength

  1. Listen to your instincts. I am being serious if your gut is telling you that you have been a supportive and good friend/family member but the other party is not bothered enough play their role.. let them be. It is not your fault. However, in life people do get busy.. sadly. And physical distance is another barrier within that relationship. Give it time and show that you care. However if nothing is changing and your instinct is telling you that there is not point.. then decide what you need to do for you. Also people do stay… you just or need to find them or acknowledge them. Sometimes the people who are the most supportive are the people you never have really thought about in that sense. Also take care of yourself. Honestly, with that I mean take care of your needs. What you need to do to improve your sense of self. That could LITERALLY mean everything. x

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