I want to be strong again.
I’m not the best person at staying in touch with people, but I try. While I moved away I would email videos, Skype w/ people, make phone calls during my long drives, I would even send simple text messages. But since I’ve come home, I’ve had a hard time staying inspired. In fact… some days I’m pretty sure I’m bordering on depression, even if I refuse to acknowledge it. And I would hope the friends I have… friends I’ve had for a long time… would take some of the initiative in staying connected.
I’m tired. I’m stressed out. I feel constantly ungrateful. To make matters worse, I just want some of the people I consider important, to consider me just as important. After awhile, I start to wonder if there is something wrong with me. People appear to find it so easy to walk away, or forget about me. It’s a hell of a realization.
Sometimes I wonder if I even know how to connect with people. I went from being a leader of young adults and pre-teens, to barely having the confidence to talk to people. What is the point of connecting with people, when they don’t stay.
Is it so wrong to want someone to stay? To be strong while I’m not….