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The Letter.

To You,

It shocks me to realize lingering thoughts about you still have the power to hurt me.  An obscene amount of time has passed for any feelings to still be attached to thoughts of you.  I have more time with your absence then your presence, and yet I can miss you as though I’ve known you the majority of my life.  The possibilities of what could have been haunt me, and the reality of what truly exists feels like a mistake.  All I ever asked for was honesty, I may not have liked what the honest answer was but it was all I needed, and instead you left me with a quiet exit.  Your silence has left more doubt and insecurities, then I thought was possible.  Beautiful words and a hasty exit, give me every reason to believe everything you said was a lie.  The beautiful words, the meaningful discussions, the unbelievable rightness of what was happening.  All lies.  I am a gullible believer, and you a skillful preacher.  While you call me beautiful, you are walking away.

I expect nothing.  I’m sure if for some bizarre reason you were to find this and read this, I’m sure you believe I’m half crazy.  Quite frankly, I feel half crazy.  Add this as another notch on your belt, trophy on your shelf, whatever analogy you feel is fitting.  My only purpose for this letter, is to let it out.  I’m not the first female to feel this way, I won’t be the last.  So this letter to You, is Me figuring out a way of letting you go. 

Always,

Me

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2 thoughts on “The Letter.

  1. been there, felt that 🙂 it sucks. BUT you’ll shine through it all, keep the faith and surround yourself with people who only see the beautiful person you are! much much love!

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  2. If that person found this letter in some bizarre chain of events. Then what? An apology? Like you said, ” an obscene amount of time has passed”. If that person found this letter after so much time, wouldn’t that validate the connection the author is referring to? And being a faith based author shouldn’t, “time” be measured in eternity? As far as the notch in the belt reference or trophy reference I don’t buy it. The authors words are so true feeling when speaking of , “rightness” and “possibilities” that dismissing those to a trophy on a shelf doesn’t make sense. It would mean she didn’t know him at all. I don’t buy that either. It does seem there is some explanation due as well as apologies. But from a man’s point of view, and a man that aspires to do what’s right. I think the answers the author seeks may possibly be admirable. But that’s me projecting my own feelings and perspective and experience that is fimiliar.

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